'I used my Lunette for the first time' aka 'OWWWWWWWW!

First, some background on myself:

I am 21 years old, have never had sexual intercourse, never used a tampon, my flow is moderate, it is extremely rare for my to have any pain/cramps associated with my period, and I work my core muscles (which means I have quite a bit of pelvic muscle).

I have considered making the switch from cloth pads to menstrual cup for quite a while for various reasons, one of them being the fact that, no matter what I do, I can't stop leaks from happening with my pads when I get really physically active. I'm used to it, but I'd still rather not have this happen.

I got a Lunette size 1, and thus the drama begins.

First of all, I had to figure out where my vagina was. This is the first time in my life I ever needed to know this information, but it just took a little finger work to figure out. And there was no trace of a hymen (years of physical activity are quite effective at tearing up hymens).

I lubricated the Lunette with water. I tried the C/heart-fold first. And ... it didn't fit. I tried to squeeze, and my vaginal opening simply would not let it in. So I tried the punch-down fold. Ditto. 7-fold. Ditto. Back to C/heart-fold. Ditto. I tried to relax ... but this process was painful. I am completely not used to having pain in this part of my body. In particularly, it was a clenching pain, and my pain threshhold for clenching pain is particularly low. By the way, I was squatting this entire time. I also tried lying down. I pushed it towards my back. I tried to relax my muscles ... but eventually I was getting sore from all of these attempts, and tears were streaming from my face, and I knew that no progress was being made. So I stopped.

An hour or two later, when my soreness lowered, I tried again. Similar results.

An hour of two later, I tried again. Third time was the charm. Or the curse. It was less painful, possibly because I was more adept than my previous attempts, but it was still more pain that all my years of disposable and later cloth pads combined (which I admit is easy to surpass, because I had so little). But it got in. Except I had no idea if it had unfolded properly. It didn't feel right. First of I all I felt it, which is a bad sign, and when I investigated with my finger it also didn't seem right. It seemed tilted towards my right side. But I couldn't move it (couldn't twist it, couldn't move it up, etc), and as I tried to adjust it, the pain went up, so I decided I had enough pain already.

Throughout the day, I could feel discomfort there. It was faint, but even faint discomfort is more than I usually feel during my period.

Then it came time to take it out. It had leaked onto my pad, but it was a fraction of the blood I would have normally gotten on my pad, so it was doing something. I thought removing it would be easier than putting it in. Maybe it was. I think my eyes produced fewer tears.

I squatted in the bathtub. My finger found it pretty quickly. It had moved up my vagina. And the tab was off to the left side ... which seemed wrong. Unfortunately, my finger wasn't able to do much. I know I was supposed to pinch it ... but I don't know how to pinch with one finger. I tried sending in another finger/thumb, but I just couldn't do it. So I had to keep trying. I alternated between trying to send another finger and trying to pinch it against my vaginal wall. Eventually, I managed to make great squirts of blood come out. Shortly after a great squirt of blood, I managed to pull it down with the tab (I could reach the tab with a thumb). As it came down, it seemed that it was still in the punch-down fold that I inserted in it, as if it had never fully opened. That could explain a lot, on the other hand, I don't know what I could have done to make it pop open that I didn't do. So then it came to the opening. Good news: I could finally grasp the bottom with my thumb and finger. Bad news: ooooooowwwww!!!! At least it was not a clenching pain this time, but it was still significantly more painful than I was expecting. At this point I was grateful that it was still in the punch-down fold. At some point, I decided to sit down instead of squatting. I pulled it out, and it was so painful I had to stop at points, yet I had to go on in order to get it out. In a few minutes, it was finally out. YAY! I was free! My genatalia was sore, and remained quite sore for over an hour, but the worst was over.

In summary, most of these problems are related to the fact that my vaginal opening seems to be quite small. Or rather, the opening is very tight with muscle, and my muscle is much more willing to give way to a finger than to a blob of silicone. It makes it difficult to insert or remove anything larger than a finger, and it makes it hard to manipulate anything that is inside.

Nothing I had read about menstrual cups had led me to believe that the first time could be anywhere near this painful. On the one hand, I would love to have some useful advice which could make this situation a lot better. On the other hand, I am seriously considering the possibility that menstrual cups are simply not right for me.

I think I'll need more bravery the next time that I did this time, because now I know how painful it can get. And it's going to take at least a day to get there. In the mean time, I have my lovely, soft, faithful, and painless cloth pads to take care of me.

Ooooo. I agree, it seems like you are quite tiny in the opening. Usually, people’s bodies adjust within a few days, but once in a while, there will be a young lady who has some pain and difficulty.

However, I don’t think you should give up so soon. I really think it would be worth it to keep trying. Just remember, one day (sooner than you think) there is going to be something a lot bigger than a cup (wider, longer, and more solid/rigid) going in there, without pain, on a regular basis. And then there’s having kids, eventually, which makes even sex look like a walk in the park. So take comfort that your body will become capable. Don’t worry about that.

For now, if you want to continue practicing with your cup you can… But if you strongly feel that you are not quite ready yet (because even little tampons bugged me when I first started using them several years ago, so I know what you mean), I strongly suggest you practice some more with fingers for a while.

Practicing With Hands:

You can gradually work up to the width and length of a cup. And I think fingers are better for this, because they are your body parts, and you can control how they move and how they are shaped better. Also, they can help you figure out your own internal shape better. Just make sure they are VERY clean. Or you can go to a dollar store and get a pack of disposable gloves for under a dollar. Cheap and clean.

I would stay stick with the 1-finger approach for a bit. Then move up to 2. And eventually, maybe you can bunch together 3, so its about the rounded width of a cup.

As virgins, especially if we haven’t… Uh… Masturbated very much, the nerves inside the vagina are very different from how they will be in just a couple of short years, or after regular “self exploration”, or sex. They will change… They will go from everything you put inside there stinging, stretching and burning-- to everything feeling so/so, or even pleasurable. And you will also begin to produce more natural fluid. By practicing more with hands, you will rush this process, it will develop faster. And internal menstrual products will be no big deal then.

Use Lube:

That’s the other thing… I strongly encourage you to use lube. BUT-- do not use oil-based. Oils do not really agree with the PH levels of the vagina, and may cause infection. You should always use a water-based lube. It also might be a good idea to try and make sure that it does not contain glycerin… Glycerine is a sugar, and sugars can disrupt your ph levels and cause a yeast infection. So general rule of thumb for lube: Water-based, glycerin free. You can find such lubes here, its called “Sliquid”-- really good stuff!:

http://www.sliquid.com/products2.htm

They also sell it on eBay:

http://cgi.ebay.com/Sliquid-H2O-Original-Personal-Lubricants_W0QQitemZ230451049054QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item35a7f3f25e

And the following online stores:

http://www.drugstore.com/search/search_results.asp?Ntk=All&srchtree=5&Ntt=sliquid&aid=336064&aparam=sliquid&scinit1=sliquid

http://www.cheaplubes.com/sliquidlubricant.aspx

http://www.amazon.com/Sliquid-Intimate-Lubricant-Original-Formula/dp/B000BKUV3U



It really does help. As a young woman who is not quite sexually active, even if you are producing some vaginal fluids, you are not producing as much or the same texture, as you will be when you are sexually active. Of course, buy doing all the above tips, you will encourage your body to begin producing much more of its own lubrication. But for now, things will be much easier on you if you enlist a big of help from bottled lube.

Apply the lube to your vaginal opening. Not the cup. I learned that the hard way, lol. If you put it on the cup, that makes it hard to fold or hold onto… The other thing is, the use of lube can make removal much more comfortable as well, (again, at least until you start producing more of your own moisture). What you can do it, when you know you are about to remove the cup, get your lube and gently apply some as far up on the inside as you can manage to. Since silicone does not absorb, what you used earlier should still be up there.

Inserting:

When you insert, you said you were going toward your back. That’s good! Heck even try tilting it straight back toward the rectum, if you can. Because we are really almost parallel to the floor. Funny, but true. The way it seems to be sitting to the left or right… That may be a tilted cervix, or something mild like that. But even so, lots of people still use a cup around that little obstacle. No biggie, just gotta find and angle that works for you. But it also may just be from insertion. So see how it sits when you insert at slightly varying angles.

Once its in, you can try rotating the cup to help it pop open. If you can’t do that, see if its possible to insert a finger. Do it by denting in the side of the cup, rather than trying to force the vaginal wall out… This will let some air in. Another thing you can do is, when you fold your cup, make sure the fold crease goes right through one of the holes… That way, after you insert, the hole will stay exposed to air much longer, allowing it to pop pen better.

Removing:

You can try easing out one edge of the rim at a time. Preferably from the side first, because the urethra is on the top/front, and that tends to be more sensitive/hurt more. Or you can try the old “pinch and tilt” method, if you have trouble fitting fingers in. Of course, you will need to get then in enough to grab the bottom of the cup… but after that, pinching the bottom and rocking from left to right can help break the suction.

Finally, keep the faith, and keep coming back to talk and ask questions. You will learn all sorts of new things and you continue on. And more questions may come up.

Let me know if any of this helps,

M

"Just remember, one day (sooner than you think) there is going to be something a lot bigger than a cup (wider, longer, and more solid/rigid) going in there, without pain, on a regular basis."

Interesting, I don't think I suggested anywhere that I was sexually attracted to people with penises. As it turns out, I am not inclined that way. Of course, some people not sexually attracted to such people still have "something a lot bigger than a cup (wider, longer, and more solid/rigid) going in there, without pain, on a regular basis," but there is a strong correlation.

Also, I don't think anything I said ruled out the possibility that I could have vulvodynia or any other condition which does make vaginal intercourse painful. I don't think I have such a condition, but due to my lack of experience, I can't completely rule it out.

Yes, I think I do need more finger/hand practice before I proceed. I don't see how anything can improve as long as I can't stick two fingers in at the same time. However, if I practice now, I'm afraid I'll make a bloody mess, so I'll wait a week before I start.

I'll keep the tip about lube in mind, but as someone who washes her pads and panties by hand, I know my vaginal fluids pretty well, and there is no shortage of lubrication. However, I did wash the area before I started, which might have flushed out the natural lube and thus been counterproductive.

Anyway, thanks for your swift response and your thoughtful suggestions!

Ah, I see, sorry about that, 90% of the women I've talked to were hetero, so I was just really used to saying that, lol. I have spoken with some female couples though. One couple said they usually had their cycles around the same time (which I've heard some women can line up with each other if they live together) so they were able to experience cups together, they each went and bought theirs on the same day. Just lets us know how different we all really are, because one of them took to it right away with no problems. But the other, everything worked ok, except she had a lot of difficulty getting it out, so I offered her a few tips... They used toys and such, so it wasn't a pain issue, hers just kept traveling up too far and she couldn't reach it. Finally she got it! Then she came back a few days later and told me that every time she removed it, it was easier and easier to reach... Wierd how our bodies sometimes form to what we're doing, lol.

True, even though girls who are not sexually active can and do experience a lot of discomfort with vaginal products, its still a good idea to keep an open mind about other possible conditions. I did also speak to a young lady once who had unbearable pains whenever she tried to put anything inside, and she would actually break into a cold sweat, go into shock, and pass out every time. Poor dear... She was afraid she had toxic shock syndrome, or tore her hymen or something, but we all informed her about conditions that can cause it, for her to look into. Its good you already know about them though

Oh I def. agree about waiting post-cycle for hand practice, lol.

Please keep us updated, if you experience any changes, or if you just need to talk

Thank you SK so much for posting your experience. I have had the same problems with my lunette.
 I had thankfully gone to a place called She-Bop who sold me Sliquid samples and as Melissa569 stated putting it on the cup directly was the worst idea ever! Your tips are all very helpful. I did figure it out quickly thankfully.
 SK I did want to mention that I have been for the last couple months with my boyfriend trying a finger (I found my long nails are too painful) to be ready for this cup since I am a virgin also and it still was excruciating for me.
   When I use the most slim/small internal dildo vibe that I could find, I still find it painful unlike many girls I know. Yeah, being 21 as well, I've also heard the sex/kids/pleasure in the future but I've found out not everyone is that type of person. :>