Introducing cups to shy young ladies

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Introducing cups to shy young ladies

Post  Kammioderin on Mon Apr 05, 2010 4:31 pm

I figure I'd post here since you ladies are so understanding and have great ideas.

Back-story- I work in a fairly small family owned office, and we are all open and close as a group so we talk about a lot of stuff. There are three of us that have daughters right about the same age and commonly discuss the trials and joys of parenting "tween" girls. One lady has a daughter that is great in every way but one and that is in discussing the more private or personal areas of life. She found out her daughter had started her period because they were doing a Spring Cleaning of her room and she came across some soiled panties in the back of the closet. I know the short answer is that more communication needs to be done between mom and daughter, but like I said other than this refusal to talk about personal things, they have a great relationship.

The Problem- It seems that some issues have come up in the form of pads not being disposed of properly (hidden away instead of tossed). The mom has had a hysterectomy and so I think part of the issue is that she's used to not having anything in the bathroom garbage and she might be embarrassed over leaving things in it. Also maybe she doesn't view periods as natural since her mom has never had one as far as she can recall. She seems to be a really shy girl who hasn't really talked about her cycle with anyone.

The Solution- I'm sure the initial conversation about this unhygienic disposal is going to be an awkward one, but I'm hoping her mom lets her know I'd be more than willing to talk to her about cups. I'm afraid she's going to be too shy about it though and will just end up being embarrassed by something that should be viewed as acceptable and natural. I'm convinced that using a cup would appeal to her in regards to the lack of evidence factor, but concerned how to approach her about it without bringing up that I know about her situation.

Also, something that you ladies here might be able to point me towards, I know why a cup would appeal to me as a younger teen, and I know that I could tell her why I think it would be a good idea, but are there any posts that have been made anywhere, or a place that has written anything about cups just for teenagers? After she decides that is what she wants I plan on pointing her to the virgin's guide on LJ so that she has a bit of help in that area, but it seemed a bit much for just informing someone about the cup.

Any input would be helpful, as I've never thought I'd be converting anyone that young besides my daughter and she's fairly open about things.

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Re: Introducing cups to shy young ladies

Post  Melissa569 on Tue Apr 06, 2010 11:13 am

Hmmmm... If she’s really that shy, maybe it would be best not to let her know that you are aware she has already started. She might think people have been “talking” about her. Or that someone found her “stash” or got upset at her for something. Then of course, obtain her mother’s permission to talk to her, or tell her mother to do it.

I agree there are some communication problems here. I’m not sure if its only about the daughter having her period, while the mother does not… My mother no longer has periods, and hasn’t for about 10 years. But she is just so laid-back, honest, and easy to talk to-- she has no problem talking about periods with anyone, and sometimes, my female cousins have gone to her for tips and advice, rather than their own mothers. At first, she was pretty shocked to hear that cups existed, but now she's one of my biggest supporters, and points people toward my blog, etc. I think it has to do with weather or not the mother has ever initiated such a conversation, and if she was pleasant and easy-going when she did. A mom has to leave her young daughter with the impression that when she does start her period, she can come to her mom, and it won’t be a big deal. Since a few women in our family started their periods as young as 10, my mother began explaining everyting to me even before that age.

On the other hand, it could be something you don’t know about… I have a friend from back in college, who also didn’t tell her mother she started her period (at least not right away), because her mother had always told her “As soon as you start your period, you’re going straight to the doctor, to be examined! I wanna make sure everything is ok up in there.” Well, she didn’t tell her mother, because she was only 11, and wasn’t ready to be laying up on a table, with a stranger examine her lady bits under the lights… She was scared, so she said nothing.

As for talking to her, after getting her moms permission, you could just take the passive approach and say, “Since you are about that age where you could start your period any time, I’ll tell you these things just in case, for when it does happen…” And then give her a basic run-through of what to do about it, and all the options she has for care, along with the different benefits.

Also, of course, be sure to let her know how beautiful and natural it is. What a positive and magical thing it is. And that every woman has the right to be very comfortable with her nature. Soften the runway a bit, you know?

Leave it to HER to break down and tell you that she has already started her period. You could also point her toward resources that she herself can check out in private. Let her read my blog to find out what cups are:

More specifically, the story I wrote there about the day I started my very first period, and how I went from pads, to tampons, to cups. That might put her at ease hearing a story that begins at her level:

Thee is also “The Virgin’s Guide To Cups” on the LiveJournal menstrual cup board:

Hope that helps

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